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A Woman Alive

September 29th, 2014

Stepping through Fear

By Diane

About a year ago I shared a blog by my daughter Jessica. In it she said, “My life experiences have taught me that courage is not about being fearless, but rather courage is about acknowledging your fears and still choosing to follow your heart.” Pretty smart for a then 19 year old! And how we live this truth over and again in our lives! (Read her blog here: http://awomanalive.com/648

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I was sharing my move to Port Jefferson with a friend of mine and he said, “Di, I do not think anything scares you.” But actually that is not the truth – this has been a challenging and often scary move that has brought up a lot of emotion, a fair amount of stress and yes – some tears. I left the known and comfortable environs of Fort Green; a modern apartment in a great neighborhood with all the conveniences of city living, close to friends and neighbors I know and find myself in a small town knowing absolutely no one (except the painter who painted my floors), living in an old house with crazy plumbing, questionable electricity at times and unpacked about 70 boxes by myself.

Courage yes, but without fear – absolutely not. And I am still a bit shaky – wondering if I made the right decision and what is forward for me in this journey. But Jesse is right. I believe we have to follow our hearts, to pay attention to that wise voice inside of us that keeps saying, “yes – you can do this”, regardless of how afraid we are, regardless of how much is unknown.

I knew that a change was needed. I was clear that I wanted to bring my life back to a bit simpler lifestyle – closer to nature and more outdoor activities.

And the payoff for stepping through my fear and moving forward courageously? I spent the weekend driving around and found a beautiful state park where I took a two hour hike, sat on the beach for a while and then treated myself to a lovely lunch looking out at the water. I have created a cozy space for myself in a funky old house with wide planked floors, windows facing east and south with tons of light and took a long soak in the big old claw foot tub. I am finding a new space of peace and creativity in the quiet. Feeling some fear and trepidation – but stepping over the threshold, trusting myself and knowing that with the courage to the face the unknown will come new adventures – the rewards of which are still ahead.

So I am finding yet another piece of my authentic soul and feeling totally alive!   Thank you Jessica for reminding me always to follow my heart.

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